toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
