And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Randomize
