Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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