I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
