oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
is that a dick in a sweater?
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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