life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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