He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
