Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
