Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
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