The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Randomize
