im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
