She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
