Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
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