My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
