The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
