do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
