whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize