I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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