Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
