I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Randomize
