When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
