So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
her facebook's as public as her vagina
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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