mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
