I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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