Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
