Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
He uses pillows to masturbate.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Randomize
