I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Randomize
