sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
