last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Randomize
