flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I'm getting married
To pizza
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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