almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Randomize
