in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
COCAINE IS GR8
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
