You really coming over, don't trick.
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
My bed smells like the plague
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
