well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
