i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
