he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
