She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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