She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I cut my penus on the lid.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I could fuck to npr.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
