One girl and one boy is just not enough.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Randomize
