How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
