Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
