bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
