It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
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