and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
