i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
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