Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Randomize
