Jerry, you need to find god
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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