capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
