Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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