I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize