One blow job doesn not make me gay.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
