Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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