Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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