he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
