I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
