I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
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