i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Randomize
