When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
