accomplished twins. life is a go
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
