If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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