I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
