I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
