people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize